Monday, September 12, 2011

Watashi wa Susie desu :)

The day I left CA... July 1, 2011
That means..  I am Susie.

Before I left many people felt the Spirit gave "Identity" in various ways to speak into my life. It is something that  I always believed was no problem for me... until... in my 28th year of life I lost a brother.  I changed, some good and some bad, and lost some years not knowing who I was. As hard as that is to admit, I need to confess that it is true. I spent time in denial trying to convince myself that I was who I was before. Every time  I taught interpersonal communications I encouraged students to do self reflection often to keep the self concept realistic and healthy...though  I learned that in denial you can fool yourself pretty easily.

Since God was clearly telling me to take a real look at myself I decided it must be time... and a good idea. So, here I am in another land, just barely learning the language, living on my own, working more hours a week then I ever have before, wearing clothes that don't feel like me, without anyone who truly knows me, unable to read labels and signs, and just sometimes feeling like a 12 year old.. thinking I am grown up but knowing  I need help, even to read a menu (thank the Lord for pictures!). On top of that my first month I was without a computer and my second was a spiritually heavy time in Japan.

Kamakura, Tokyo with Kathy & friends
Now I am in my third month...  I have had to lean on God and, being that He knows me most, ask Him to help me see who I am.  I am now taking a Japanese conversation class once a week (no $$ or time for more right now). I have gone 2 weeks and can count to 10 and introduce myself.. and a few others things. This language is less direct and the same sounds get repeated often, so please pray  I can memorize and use it correctly ;). I am slowly listening to God and doing some self exploration into who i am. When I look I feel wretched sometimes, and not so bad others. When I ask God  I feel special, worthwhile, loved, gifted, strong,  wise, that  I have a purpose, beautiful, and liked. I am trying to ask God every day to remind me so that where I lack I can grow into who  I am, who God created me to be!!
Kathy & I with Hachi
(hachi is 6 in Japanese)

I want to encourage you to do some self reflection... are you who you think you are? are you who you want to be? are you moving or static?

And please let God be a part of the process because He created us and knows us more deeply then we could ever know ourselves... and even so, He loves us more deeply than we can understand, and the biggest shocker to me is... He likes us and desires us to get to know Him... He wants YOU around!!!

So, who am i? i am a daughter of the everlasting King! i am a Princess! i am a saint! i am an ambassador for the Kingdom of God! i am a mighty warrior! i am loved & liked! i am God's creation! i am who God created me to be! i am Susie!

Science Museum.. my 2nd day in Nagoya, Japan
Enjoying a bath house with my sister at the base of Mt Fuji.

Who are you????

Thanks for Reading! Please pray for me... that  I remember who I am, get on a better schedule, and learn the language well. Thanks